I Have Not Lived in Vain
Reflections on "A Father's Prayer" by Douglas MacArthur
Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory.
Build me a son whose wishes will not take the place of deeds; a son who will know Thee—and that to know himself is the foundation stone of knowledge.
Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort, but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenge. Here let him learn to stand up in the storm; here let him learn compassion for those who fail.
Build me a son whose heart will be clear, whose goal will be high, a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men, one who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past.
And after all these things are his, add, I pray, enough of a sense of humor, so that he may always be serious, yet never take himself too seriously. Give him humility, so that he may always remember the simplicity or true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, and the meekness of true strength.
Then I, his father, will dare to whisper, ‘I have not lived in vain.’
Douglas MacArthur, “A Father’s Prayer”
As most parents, I have a passel of hopes and prayers for my sons. So, when I heard this recited by a second grader last fall, I felt the unexpected prick of tears at the corners of my eyes.
My husband had just read “If” by Rudyard Kipling, and this piece by Douglas MacArthur has a similar feel. And while I typically shy away from anything that seems smarmy or sentimental, “A Father’s Prayer” echoed so many of the conversations we have had about what kind of men we want our sons to become.
Each night before bed, we pray a blessing over our sons: “May the Lord bless you and keep you. May He make His face shine upon you. May He be gracious to you and give you peace. May you slay dragons and giants and sin all the days of your life in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord.” (poorly memorized from pastor Toby Sumpter’s 26 September 2022 blog post).
For context, “A Father’s Prayer” was written by General Douglas MacArthur for his son Arthur when MacArthur was in the Philippines during WWII (see The New York Times, 6 April 1964). It is a second grade option for my school’s Colloquium (1st-8th grade speech meet).
The question is: will I make my sons memorize this for Colloquium when they get to second grade? …Probably.